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Monday 5 August 2013

12 Tips For Parents With Bedwetting Children

 
The dawn is winding down. The sun is about to peep over the horizon and the neighbour's rooster cannot hold its patience any longer..... It is a new day in a serene African city but one child is about to start the day in a very nasty manner. Fiam! A steaming hot slap lands with the thud of thunder on the child's tender buttocks. Suddenly, from the wonderful land of dreams full of fair fairies and mischievous tortoises, the poor child is rudely shaken, woken up to a stark reality. As she looks up, half-asleep, half-awake, in the dim lantern light of the room, she sees the shadow of her angry mother. 'Atole (bedwetter)! Go and dry your mat outside!', Mama yelled, not forgetting to add a well-timed knock which sent some extra trickles of urine down the thighs of the confused child. Knowing fully well that she will not have peace for the rest of that day and with eyes full of salty tears just about to drop, she goes to dry her tattered sleeping mat, dripping with urine...

This is the plight of countless Nigerian children. They are beaten. Abused. Tortured. 'Disciplined'. Ostracized. Discriminated against. Taken for exorcism. Jeered at. Booed at. Sneered at. All because of what is a natural developmental delay -bedwetting, and absolutely no fault of theirs. The most unfortunate aspect of the whole scenario is that those who carry out the 'punishment' are the parents or caregivers who are supposed to protect, shower love and attention upon the innocent child. However, when you see some parents beat their kids because they turned the bedroom into an Ogunpa River overnight, you will forgive those who carried out the Spanish Inquisition.

Children have really suffered on top dis mata. Over time, kids have been subjected to horrendous and undignifying treatment because of titoole. In the past, one remedy was to dry the comb of a rooster and scatter it over the enuretic's bed. As late as the mid-1800s, another 'treatment' was to injure the child's sacral region. Kai! This piece is specially written for parents with children who bedwet, it is for us to rub minds, correct some misconceptions, and hopefully, never raise a finger on that your lovely son or daughter again. The mat must have dried now, let's spread it, and have a chat. cheesy

1. WHAT IS BEDWETTING?
Also referred to as nocturnal enuresis, nighttime urinary incontinence or sleepwetting, bedwetting is an episodic form of urinary incontinence while asleep. It occurs after the age at which the child is expected to have full bladder control (over urination). Urologists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) have pegged this at five years. It is the most common childhood urologic complaint in the United States and one of the most frequently addressed cases in paediatric wards across the globe.

2. ARE THERE TYPES?
Yes. There are two types: primary and secondary. Primary nocturnal enuresis is when urinary continence at night has NEVER been achieved while the secondary type is when nocturnal dryness has been achieved for at least 6 months.

3. WHY DO KIDS BEDWET?
Okay, carefully read this part. Your body ensures that you stay dry at night in two main ways: by ensuring that urine production at night is decreased and triggering your ability to wake up when the bladder is full. For a child to remain dry, he or she must fully develop these two capabilities. And that is where the issue is. Kids gain these capabilities at different ages. For instance, there is a hormone called the antidiuretic hormone (which reduces amount of urine produced from the kidneys into the bladder overnight) but antidiuretic hormone is not produced at birth until the child is about two years to six. Some kids do not even start producing the hormone until they reach puberty. So you see, beating them or blaming your in-laws or village witches is plain nonsense.

Usually, for boys, bedwetting stops at around the age of seven while the girls can achieve the same at the age of six. But by the age of 10, virtually all of them have already stopped bedwetting. It is during this period that many Nigerian kids go to Hell and return, in the hands of their parents and siblings. Bedwetting is part of the normal growth process and it is only in a small percentage (5-10%) that it is caused by a particular medical condition. In an overwhelming majority of the cases, it is as physiological as puberty even if its exact cause remains a mystery. #RogerThat.

However, it must also be pointed out that some other predisposing factors have also been identified. These include constipation, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), caffeine (which increases urine production), sleepwalking, stress, improper toilet training, urinary tract infections and anatomical deformities such as small bladders. There are also some psychological causes such as death of a close family member, intimate abuse or even bullying. Parents, be observant for these are perilous times.

4.IS IT NORMAL FOR MY CHILD TO BEDWET?
Yes. Nocturnal enuresis is normal for a vast majority of children and it is just a neurological developmental delay which will eventually disappear on its own. In most cases, bedwetting is not as a result of any psychological or even physical problem with your child. It is just part of growing up and will sort out itself with time. You should only be worried and go for regular checks when there are infections, pain during urination, blood in urine, discoloured urine, smelly urine, bladder abnormalities or when the child suffers from systemic diseases like diabetes.

5. MY SONS SEEM TO BEDWET MORE THAN THE GIRLS, IS THIS OKAY?
Yes. Boys are three times more likely to bedwet than the little sisis in the house.

6. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?
Yes. As a matter of fact, things boku wey you fit do. Owing to the fact that bedwetting is a developmental delay, your focus as a parent should be on ensuring that your child does not become emotionally damaged (some kids are really battered at this stage and lose all sense of self-esteem, affecting them even into adulthood, please note this). You are to provide maximum psychological support in addition to making sure he/she stops the bedwetting as soon as possible. In that vein, there are various measures that can be taken, (consult with your doctor before embarking on any). Standard intervention methods include:

-Pharmacological agents: There are drugs that can help with controlling the urination, and they include desmopressin and tricyclic antidepressants (never embark on self-medication).

-Bedwetting alarms):

Just as the name implies, a bedwetting alarm is an electronic device and it goes off once the kid starts to urinate and moisture is detected. There are wearable, pad-type and wireless bedwetting alarms. With time, the alarm helps the brain to condition itself into recognizing the bladder's need to be emptied. A bedwetting alarm is also called an enuresis alarm. I am not too sure of its preponderance in the Nigerian society but it can be purchased online and if it is not available in stores, that should be a good opportunity for the business-minded.

-You also need to teach correct toilet manners but be careful, it should not be too early or too late. Consult with your doctor on this.

-Another thing you can actually do is NOTHING. Just wait and observe your kids. Most of them outgrow it anyway, without any intervention.

7. I PUNISH MY KIDS FOR BEDWETTING, WILL IT WORK?
No. Just as all the Federal Government's efforts to fix PHCN or the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway have not worked, you are just wasting your time punishing your child for sleepwetting. I am not even bothered about your hand paining you after beating the child, my worry is with the deep emotional scar and psychological injury that you leave behind. Experts have said that punishment of any form also interferes with the treatment or any therapeutic regimen that the child has been subjected to, worsening the whole matter. I know it is stressful being a parent in Nigeria but venting your anger and frustration on the poor kids is not the way to go. Registering at the nearest boxing club is a better idea. Maybe you'll win Olympic gold for us one day...lol! Biko, patience and understanding are very important when dealing with a bedwetting kid.


8. DOES BEDWETTING MEAN MY CHILD IS SICK, ILL OR SOMETHING?
Not necessarily. It is just in about 5-10%, as stated earlier on, that nocturnal enuresis is a sign of another underlying medical condition.

9. DOES IT RUN IN THE FAMILY?
Yes. Studies have shown that there are some hereditary factors responsible for nocturnal enuresis. Parents who bedwetted as kids transfer the genes to their children. Genes on chromosomes 13q and 12q have been identified in this transfer. So, you see na? LOL!

10. MY CHILD IS A TEENAGER AND STILL BEDWETS.
Hmmm...this is a bit thorny. A December 2002 issue of the British Journal of Urology showed that nocturnal enuresis in the adolescent is a significant problem and treatment can be difficult for those above the age of 18, and in some cases, some may have to cope with the case for the rest of their lives, even into their old age. For those in this category, all hope is not lost as there are drugs like desmopressin that can be administered. It is really pathetic to see the way Nigerian movies (Yollywood abi na Yoruba movies are particularly guilty of this) depict enuretic adolescents. They are depicted as being spiritually tormented (nonsense) and taken to babalawos who will tell them to confess if they fought with or abused someone who placed the 'curse' on them (more nonsense). Seek professional and modern treatment for your child.


11. WHY YOU NEED TO HANDLE THIS WITH WISDOM.
Many parents have unwittingly damaged the psychological profile of their kids because of the very ignorant and egbonriri way of handling their bedwetting cases. You need to realize that this is a very sensitive issue and that it can compromise parent-child relationship, sibling-sibling relationship, affect your marriage, lead to a feeling loss of confidence in your own parental skills, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem (which can push them into the wrong hands) in your child or even complicate their intimate relationships later on in life. So you really need to be serious and responsible with this. Bedwetting is not the end of life and there are measures that can be taken. And please note: that your child is bedwetting does not mean you are a failure as a parent. It is not your fault but it becomes your fault if you do not handle it well.

12.I AM GUILTY OF PUNISHING MY CHILD UNFAIRLY, NOW WHAT CAN BE DONE?
Like the pension thief who stole billions and was given a pat on the back, I also tell you to go home and sin no more...lol! Do the right thing. Just do it.

2 comments:

  1. Hello,
    This blog-post is all about the bed-wetting alarm devices.These are very helpful for Childrens.Its such an advanced device.Thank you so much...
    Enuresis

    ReplyDelete

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